What's the Worst That Could Happen?
by Uzamaki Sasuke
Summary: Naruto is insane. He's pulled off so many out there antics that when he rolls over in bed to tell Sasuke that he's running for president Sasuke could only reply "is that what we're doing today?" If it's any testament to how ill-equipped they are, Naruto's slogan is "What's the worst that could happen?" What's the worst that could happen indeed. NARUSASU T for slight language FINISH
1. What's the Worst That Could Happen?

**PROLOGUE – WHAT'S THE WORST THAT COULD HAPPEN?**

 **A/n:** I'm not dead! It turns out my wisdom teeth are coming in and they're mean.

This fic is complete, but I'm withholding the rest for possible edits in the future. I stayed up til 3am yesterday, woke up at 5am, and then stayed up until now, when I'm posting this, at 12:10am. So... hope y'all like late night ramblings. It took me HOURS to write this.

It's an AU I've entertained for months now with no intention of writing it but the people of Tumblr have spoken and I had to write it. You can thank them.

Please feel free to correct my French. I will also make corrections based on what the peeps over on AO3 and Tumblr tell me. Much thanks.

Edits were made for French in this chapter

 **NOTES:** "This would be the French (This would be my translation for better understanding)."  
Naruto and Sasuke's constant switching between both languages is done consciously, I'm pretty sure bilingual people don't switch like they do.

Hope you enjoy!

* * *

012606: Tu n'es pas sérieux (You're not serious)

012607: Yes, quite, actually. Its easy.

012606: C'est impossible (It's impossible

012607: Nah. All u have to do is act confidet. Confidence is key.

012606: *confident

012607: People tend to not question u when u look confident

012606: Au revor, mon ami (Farewell, my friend)

012607: *revoir

012607: lol, u can't eve speak French fri

012606: *even

012607: Fuk off

012606: …*fuck

They had only met online two months ago. Although he spoke perfect English, Naruto Uzumaki, aka 012607, didn't speak a lick of French. He was determined to learn and vowed to learn French in a month. He learned… the bare basics.

Fortunately enough for him, Sasuke Uchiha, aka 012606, had taken pity upon him.

So here Naruto was, two months after making first contact, in the airport with just a carry-on bag and a wadded-up napkin with a haphazardly scrawled address on it. His new-found project was hitch hiking via airplane. He had read online that someone had done it before, and he was sure to be another.

He didn't look anyone in the eye as he walked through the airport. He held himself high. Walked with a sense of overly inflated self-worth. Kept calm and collected as he moved past security, past the ticket checkers, and straight on in the airplane itself.

In so many, many, _many_ hours, Naruto Uzumaki would be in France, finally meeting his friend face to face. Naruto looked forward to telling him to his face that he was right, that Naruto had told him so.

You can do anything with confidence. Confidence is key.

* * *

"No."

"Why not, Sas?"

"Because I said so!" Sasuke hissed into the phone.

"Come on, you'll love it here."

A moment was spent solely on Sasuke composing himself.

"Naruto."

"Yes."

Memories of their first meeting came to Sasuke's mind. Naruto wanted to be all cool and suave with his whole I-told-you-so attitude he adorned occasionally. He wanted it to be out-of-this-world memorable.

Bailing Naruto out when he failed to confidence his way through border patrol was definitely memorable. Sasuke had to pull name recognition to get him out of that one. The sad blue eyes are what did it in for him.

Honestly, this wasn't too out of the ordinary.

"I'm not moving to America." Sasuke said flatly.

"Tu me manques, Sasuke (I miss you, Sasuke)."

Sasuke groaned.

"Come on, you're _always_ going on about how much you _despise_ living in France."

"I do."

"Then leave."

"No!"

"Learn how to take a chance, Sas! Life isn't worth living if you ain't risking your hide at some point or another."

"…I've never heard of 'risk your hide'."

"Context clues, babe. Ponder le risque, Sasuke ("Ponder" a risk, Sasuke)."

"It's _prendre_ (Take)."

"Stop correcting my French."

Against Sasuke's better judgement, he moved.

Naruto was right; what is life without crazy risks?

* * *

"Hey, Sasuke." Naruto leaned over on the couch to rest his head on Sasuke's shoulder.

"…yes?"

"Remember Kakashi and Gai's wedding?"

"Yes."

"Do you remember how fancy it was?"

"Yes."

"Do you remember all of the different foods there? The music? The _cake?_ "

"Naruto."

"Do you know how long it took them to plan that?"

"Naruto, no."

"You can't preemptively say no, Sas."

"No."

"It took them –"

"No."

"9 months Sasuke."

"No."

"9 MONTHS! And they said that was a _short time for that!_ " Naruto shifted to face Sasuke more fully, "Tu y crois toi (Do you believe it)?"

"Que veux-tu de moi (What do you want from me)?"

Naruto smiled, "2 mois (2 months)."

"…excusez-moi (Excuse me)?"

"Je veux 2 mois (I want 2 months). For the planning and everything."

"…for what?"

Naruto laughed. "The wedding, dear, the wedding."

The skeptical look on Sasuke's face encouraged Naruto to continue.

"Spontaneity is a very desirable trait, Sas, you should know that."

"Nothing about you is desirable."

"Oh, come on," Naruto posed on the couch, "only _everything_ about me is desirable, mon chéri."

"You want me to plan a wedding on that scale… in 2 months?" Sasuke asked incredulously. He elected to ignore Naruto's sad attempt at seduction.

"Oh, no, no, no, no," Naruto shook his head, "No."

"Good, because I really thought you were asking me –"

"Obviously it has to be on a LARGER scale!"

Sasuke gave Naruto The Look™.

"You've got to be shitting me."

* * *

Sasuke shuffled slightly behind him, causing the sheets to rustle with the movement. Naruto opened his eyes slowly. He blinked the sleep out of them as he attempted to return to consciousness and enter the wonderous world of morning time.

Naruto smiled softly at Sasuke's soft wake up sound, a chirp of sorts that Naruto dubbed his activation tone. He rolled over to face his husband.

"Hey, Sas?"

"Mmmm?" Sasuke hummed, adjusting himself to look into Naruto's eyes.

"I'm going to run for president."

Sasuke closed his eyes. He pinched the bridge of his nose as if he had a migraine.

"Is that what we're going to do today?"

* * *

"Confidence makes the person.

"Willingness to take a chance, to take risks to do what is best, defines character.

"Spontaneity, the ability to adapt to any situation faced, dictates endurance.

"Not every person has mastered all of these traits. I have, making me an invaluable asset to whatever position I am placed in. But, to be honest, I'm going straight for the tip top.

"My name is Naruto Uzumaki, presidential hopeful, eagerly awaiting the day that I may be able to serve you. Now I ask of you, if you're not already convinced that I'm a great guy for president and are questioning whether your vote is safe with me, to ask yourself one simple question:

"What's the worst that could happen?"


	2. A HUNGRY Moron

**A HUNGRY MORON**

 **A/n:** I quickly figured out that I'm probably going to have to expand the story. I'm sure you're not going to be off put about this, but I have no idea how many chapters there will be in the end.

I tend to rush things, which is why I write the way I do. Do What Now? had four chapters when I "completed" it. If you'll notice, it has 8 chapters now. I sometimes have to go in and expand things.

I edited this chapter for obvious mistakes and such, so hopefully it comes out okay.

Here's to another chapter!

* * *

"You have two dinners scheduled tonight. Two. How did you do that?"

"I dunno, Sas, you're my schedule."

Sasuke closed his eyes and inhaled deeply, "Naruto, I would never, _never,_ schedule you two dinners in one night."

"Apparently you would." Naruto scooted around to see Sasuke over the back of the couch. "Hey, whose dinners?"

"You have a dinner with the Fischer's as well as the Greywood's." Sasuke tapped the end of his pen on his lip. His brows were furrowed in concentration.

"…Is Fischer the one with the steak?" Naruto asked.

"Yes, and the Greywood's have various forms of pasta for their Italian themed dinner." Sasuke shook his head slightly, "Why theme a dinner after a nationality?"

"Oh, yeah, I forgot about that."

Sasuke looked up at Naruto.

"…about what?"

"About the dinners!"

"What about the dinners."

"I scheduled them."

Sasuke's jaw dropped.

"Why? They're happening at the same time!" His voice pitch raised in panic.

"Parce que je veux des aliments, Sasuke (Because I want food, Sasuke)."

"Quoi?" Naruto smiled at the response.

" _Parce que je veux des aliments, connard_ _(Because I want food, shithead)."_

" _Tu es un crétin, Naruto (You're a moron, Naruto)!"_ Sasuke growled out in frustration.

"Un _affamé_ crétin (A _hungry_ moron)!" Naruto smiled and nodded happily at Sasuke.

"Je vais te tuer (I'm going to kill you)."

"Come on, I have a plan."

"Of _course_ , you do." Sasuke rolled his eyes. He plopped down beside the smiling Naruto on the couch.

"Okay, the Fischer's are full of younger people. The Greywood's, they're a bit of an… older crowd," Naruto looked at Sasuke, "you follow?"

Sasuke shook his head slowly. A look of sincere concern for Naruto's wellbeing graced his features.

"Older people eat dinner earlier."

"The Fischer's dinner is at the same time as the Greywood's, Naruto."

"But," Naruto drawled out the vowel, "the dinner for the Greywood's will be finished, out, and consumed before the Fischer's have even thought of starting dinner."

"That is so wildly untrue, Naruto."

"No, it's not. I want steak _and_ pasta! I WILL make this work!"

The door to the hotel room opened to reveal Shikamaru, one of the friends Naruto decided to assign to his pitiful campaign.

"We need to leave. Fischer or Greywood?" Shikamaru asked.

"Neith-"

Naruto pounced on Sasuke, successfully cutting him off.

"GREYWOOD!"

"Alright." Shikamaru looked at Sasuke.

"Hey, you're not married to him."

"That's fair."

Naruto jumped up off the couch. He waited for Sasuke to get up before he exited the room. Sasuke looked down at his tablet as Naruto marched triumphantly beside him.

"…we didn't talk about how you're even going to consume that much food."

"The laws of physics will not tether down a man in need of some good steak and pasta."

"I'm going to have to have a talk with the laws of physics, then." Sasuke mumbled.

"You're just a sore loser." Naruto poked him.

Sasuke swatted his hand away, "If people knew this was how you operated, your campaign would be down the drain faster than a pound of salt can melt an ice cube."

Naruto chuckled, "That's not a saying, Sas."

"Yes, it is. I said it, therefore it is."

The trio exited the hotel. Naruto basked in the sunlight before turning to Sasuke.

"Pourquoi tu t'énerves (Why so angry)?"

"Comme je tu l'avons dit, tu es un crétin. (Like I told you, you're a moron)."

Naruto laughed, "C'est méchant, Sasuke (That's mean, Sasuke)."

"Je m'en fische (I don't care)."

Naruto held the door open for Sasuke when they got to the car.

"Watch your head, princess." Naruto said.

"Don't call me princess." Sasuke scolded him.

"That's right, not outside the bedroom, sorry."

Sasuke shot Naruto a healthy glare. Naruto laughed under his breath as he closed the door.

"Do you guys say something I don't need to hear when you do that?" Shikamaru asked.

"Hm?" Naruto made his way around the car, "When we do what?"

"Switch to French. I only know so much, you know."

"Oh, no," Naruto laughed, "I switch so often because I'm still so impressed by how fast Sasuke subconsciously switches." Naruto paused before opening the door, "And, honestly? The change in accent is cute."

"He has a pretty heavy accent already, Naruto."

"Yeah, but it's _different_ when he speaks French." Naruto opened the door, "It's cute."

Shikamaru rolled his eyes and shook his head as Naruto's door shut.

"Whatever."

* * *

Sasuke was always impressed by how easily Naruto made a good impression on people.

The Greywoods' party was going well so far. Naruto was correct to some extent; the dinner had already been cooked and had begun to trickle into the dining hall. Sasuke hoped that Naruto knew well enough that the dinners were to gain sponsors and not to freeload the food. Sasuke looked down at the glass of wine in his hand. He didn't drink much, but a glass in his hand makes him seem more comfortable in a place where he's completely uncomfortable.

Sasuke narrowed his eyes as the younger of the two Greywood granddaughters made a very obvious yet feeble attempt at wooing Naruto. Sasuke wasn't going to put an end to it until there it was evident it would result in some awful uproar without him stepping in. Women _loved_ to throw themselves at Naruto. Sasuke trusted him, but he could be… oblivious. Sasuke was just trying to keep a handle on things.

He looked back down at his tablet. By Naruto's strange calculations, the Fischer's would have their dinner out in about 2 hours. It took 30 minutes to get there, give or take 10 minutes, depending on Shikamaru's attentiveness to traffic laws that evening.

Honestly? This whole campaign was a mess. Sasuke was acting as Naruto's campaign manager, which was beneficial in the end because it meant he could keep a close eye on the presidential hopeful. He was also one of the only people that could handle Naruto and steer him in the right direction; even so, Sasuke wasn't able to do this all the time.

Shikamaru was kind of a chauffeur of sorts. He was a college buddy of Naruto. Kiba Inuzuka was an errands kind of guy. He wasn't present half the time and Sasuke could never pinpoint where he was. He helped some… Naruto refused to drop him, since Kiba was a friend from high school. Sasuke questioned his choice of friends when he had learned of that tidbit of information.

The whole process was tough. Neither Sasuke nor Naruto had any political experience, not that it was to be expected of a college professor and a freelance artist. Their only minor saving grace was Sasuke's prior experience as a scriptwriter for candidates in local elections, which was quite brief. Naruto was very passionate and charismatic and, hell, he was even well informed thanks to Sasuke, but that could only get him so far. The system was messed up and without any inside knowledge Sasuke feared they wouldn't be able to use it to their advantage. It was so easy to make enemies in all of this –

Sasuke looked at his beeping watch. He turned off the alarm before approaching Naruto and the somehow increasingly scantily clad young Miss Greywood.

Sasuke cleared his throat. Heads turned in his direction.

"Your request for our presence is much appreciated, unfortunately Uzumaki has another engagement he needs to attend shortly. We thank you for inviting us to your home." Sasuke said politely.

Naruto turned to Mrs. And Mr. Greywood, "We gotta head out. Sorry for bailing so early but duty calls!"

"Oh, thank you for coming! It has been a pleasure!" Mrs. Greywood said happily.

"Uzumaki, I'll contact you later." Mr. Greywood nodded towards him.

"Everything goes through this guy right here," Naruto gestured to Sasuke, "but we look forward to hearing from you!"

Naruto joined Sasuke at his side.

"Ready?" He asked.

Sasuke turned wordlessly to the exit. Naruto walked silently beside his eerily quiet husband.

"What's wrong?"

"Mrs. and Mr. Greywood." Sasuke replied.

"What about them? I thought they were lovely."

"They listened to you."

"They did."

"They didn't listen to me."

Naruto nodded in acknowledgement to the greeter at the door briefly, "What makes you think that?"

"They looked at me."

Naruto rolled his eyes, "People do that, Sasuke."

Sasuke turned to him as Shikamaru pulled up in the driveway.

"My accent is too thick."

Naruto's face dropped immediately.

"No, it's not, Sas! It's cute!"

"Yeah, well, they're not married to me, so they don't think it's cute." Sasuke leaned against the car door.

"Why are you worried? Lots of people have lots of accents, my guy – you're fine."

"I'm worried that when they hear me, and they see me next to you, they're going to see Mr. President and some foreigner on the side."

Naruto sighed. He grasped both of Sasuke's arms lightly.

"Sasuke. I'm not going to give you up because of this."

"I'm worried about the campaign."

"I'm not."

Sasuke gave him The Look™.

"Then why are you running?" Sasuke asked.

"Because I felt like it. Spur of the moment. I'm not going to give up my lifetime sunshine funtime for a spur of the moment dealio, Sas."

Sasuke looked down.

"I'm having fun, Sas. I'd love to be president, I think I might be able to do some pretty cool things, but… I'm never going to give up on you. Never. Nothing will ever make me give up on you."

Sasuke looked up at Naruto sheepishly.

"I guess it is kind of stupid." Sasuke mumbled.

"No, it's not," Naruto assured him, "it's how you feel. I'm just worried that you've brought this up so many times. You're overthinking. And you know what I say about you overthinking?"

"…I'm like the Michael Phelps of swimming in thoughts."

"Yeah, and I'm the Usain Bolt of rushing towards disaster."

Naruto pecked Sasuke on the lips softly.

"You're okay, okay?" Naruto asked softly. Sasuke nodded.

"Je t'aime, Sasuke (I love you, Sasuke)."

"Je t'aime aussi… tu crétin (I love you too… you moron)."

* * *

 **A/n:** "Michael Phelps" and "Usain Bolt" will be a running joke throughout the story. It wasn't originally going to be, I didn't expect to write it at all. I wrote the small exchange here in the heat of the moment and just rolled with it. So here's a key:

Michael Phelps - deals with anxiety

Usain Bolt - deals with impulsive / destructive behavior.

Thank you for putting up with me lol.


	3. Michael Phelps

**MICHAEL PHELPS**

 **A/n:** I have the whole thing completed and posted on AO3 so I'm finishing it here now! It was expanded from 7 chapters to 9, adding on an impressive 2k+ words! You're welcome :)

* * *

"Sas… Sas… Sas…" Naruto called out groggily, " _Sasuke._ "

"What?" Sasuke asked.

"Come to bed."

"Mmmm… not yet, love – I'm almost finished."

The room was dark besides the light of the laptop screen. Sasuke scanned through countless articles and columns their opponents' views on the latest hot topics. The number of hot topics seemed to have jumped exponentially since the last time Sasuke had checked, which was last week. He had to figure which topics the interviewer would be most likely to pounce on, but there were so many out there that Sasuke was questioning his reasoning.

His laptop froze for a bit before it shut down for updates. Sasuke groaned loudly as the screen blackened. He closed the top and rubbed his eyes – maybe some sleep would help. He'd have to wake up at 6 to even hope to get anything done. He silently cursed his update-prone laptop and its ability to make his life more difficult every update it did.

Sasuke considered pulling his phone or his tablet out to continue his research. As he reached for his tablet Naruto spoke.

"Michael Phelps."

Sasuke's arm dropped like lead.

"We have to be careful-"

"Michael Phelps."

"Naruto, can you take this-"

"Michael Phelps."

"Argh!" Sasuke got up and stormed to the bed. "There, happy?"

Naruto turned around to spoon Sasuke.

"Quite."

Sasuke rolled his eyes.

"Usain Bolt."

Naruto snorted.

"Usain Bolt my ass."

* * *

Sasuke stood to the side as he monitored the interview silently. The questions followed many of the topics he thought they would.

"So, questions are arising about your ring. Is there a Mrs. Uzumaki?"

That's… weird. Not expected.

Michael Phelps-ing intensifies.

"Ah, this?" Naruto brings his hand up, "Yes, there is another Uzumaki in my life."

"Oh, wonderful."

"Yes, quite."

"Does your wife support your decision to campaign?"

"My spouse helps with my campaign."

"Oh, wonderful."

"Yes, quite." Naruto smiled.

Sasuke rolled his eyes.

"What's your relationship with the ol' ball and chain?"

"The what now?" Naruto asked.

"The ol' ball and chain."

"Which is?"

"Your wife."

"…Why would I refer to my spouse as a ball and chain? Seems a little mean, doesn't it?" Naruto asked.

"So, what you're saying is she has you whipped pretty good."

"That sounds like something to not talk about in public."

Sasuke smacked his face before dragging his hand down. Naruto looked at him questioningly. Sasuke shook his head while mouthing "no".

Luckily enough, Naruto's answer off put the interviewer into a different branch of questions. Sasuke could smell a whole bundle of problems on the near horizon.

Naruto caught Sasuke's attention before mouthing "Michael Phelps". Sasuke glared at him in return, to which Naruto laughed at.

Sasuke did not like this idea one bit.

* * *

A dinner. They've done that a thousand times. Except this time, all the presidential hopefuls would be attending, and they'd be answering questions. Think convention Q&A panel-esque.

Sasuke wasn't familiar with this approach, and the questions were starting to pry where Sasuke didn't want them to pry. Sure, Naruto wasn't scared to tote Sasuke around like the most elaborate bag in the world, but Sasuke knew better. Even though they were all for the LGBTQ+ issues, Sasuke knew that they had to win some of the opposing demographic in order to have even a glimmer of hope for winning. Naruto couldn't be outed as gay, not this early in the game.

That meant that Sasuke had to keep Naruto's mouth shut about it.

Sasuke spent the night making responses to various hypothetical questions based on the trends he had seen with previous interviews. He ignored the various "Michael Phelps" thrown his way. Naruto might not be serious about winning the campaign, but Sasuke was. The way Naruto handles these things could make or break what they've been working for. He was determined to prevent Naruto's Usain Bolt tendencies.

Sasuke was, in this instance, Michael Phelps to the max, and he accepted that.

Naruto was all smiles as he sat alongside his opposition. He was quick to attempt at friendships. Sasuke grimaced. They didn't need that, but Naruto looked happy enough that Sasuke left it alone.

The questions began. Michael Phelps was on the horizon.

"Candidates, what is your favorite food?"

"Well, I like medium rare steak, organic and grass fed." Yamato said. Very plain and to the point, Sasuke nodded his head.

"I like salads. Anything can be a salad, lots of variety. Great for the health and to assist with clearing the mind." Answered Mrs. Hyuuga. Sasuke concluded that she was more of the 'say what the people want to hear' kind of presidential hopeful.

"I like crépes, straight from France itself, along with other delicacies of theirs." Sasuke snorted at Sai's answer. Obviously, somebody would be taking many long vacations during their hypothetical presidency. That would be one hell of a waste.

"Well, I like cucumbers." It was a valiant effort on Sasuke's part to hold in the laughter that was just threatening to spill out.

Okay, Ms. Yamanaka wasn't afraid. At all. Of probably, like, anything ever.

She was a potential threat.

"I like ramen."

Sasuke held in a breath. He totally forgot about that for a few glorious moments where his mind had supplied some kind of Naruto mimic that ate healthy food to make a good impression on the crowd.

"Candidates, what is your favorite color, and why?"

The questions dragged on. The seemingly random topics served to pull how they spoke about different subjects. It was an interesting approach. Sasuke still wasn't fond of the set up – he checked around for possible shooters. Not something he wanted to happen again.

"Candidates, if you had to describe your spouse in one word, what would it be?"

"Elegant." Yamato.

"Compassionate." Mrs. Hyuuga.

Naruto mouthed something at Sasuke. Sasuke mouthed back "what".

"Esteemed." Sai answered.

Naruto attempted to mouth it again. Sasuke shook his head no.

"Non-existent." Ms. Yamanaka.

Sasuke shook his head as Naruto straightened up with a smile on his face.

"French fry." Naruto stated confidently, before reconsidering, "…if French fry is one word. I can't remember if it is. If I write it down I can rememb – do you have a paper?"

Sasuke screamed internally. What the hell was this man thinking.

And the torture dragged on.

* * *

Sasuke approached Naruto after the Q&A session angrily.

"French fry?"

"Yeah, French fry." Naruto repeated. "That's what I call you!"

"Don't – don't call me French fry –"

"It's cute, Sasuke."

"Naruto, please, have some common sense."

"Hey," Naruto stopped walking. He turned to Sasuke, "Michael Phelps?"

" _Usain Bolt?"_ Sasuke asked.

"Why Usain Bolt? No Usain Bolt. That's Michael Phelps acting up again."

Sasuke crossed his arms.

"Veux-tu un baiser (Do you want a kiss)?"

"If no one can see us."

Naruto frowned at the English response.

"Are you ashamed of me now?"

"Fine, just kiss me."

Sasuke was hesitant, but the minute their lips met he all but melted in Naruto's arms. It may have lasted for a little longer than Sasuke would have liked, but to hell with it – that was a problem for later Sasuke. Right now, Sasuke was basking in the sweet presence of the only man that meant a great deal to him anymore.


	4. Very Hands On With My Hands On Manager

**VERY HANDS ON WITH MY HANDS ON MANAGER**

* * *

It's the end of the world as Sasuke knows it.

Scrambling around to clean up any messes Naruto may have made was exhausting. The campaign wasn't very stable – kind of Derek Zoolander's Center for Children Who Can't Read Good and Want to Learn How to do Other Stuff Good Too-esque. Everything was piling on top of everything and Sasuke was having trouble keeping up with it all.

And then this had to happen.

The Sunday Monday Fundays show – which aired Sunday and Monday, if you couldn't tell – had requested an appearance.

This show was notorious for nit picking at the weirdest evidence in an attempt to find some scandal capable of ruining a career. The host, Tsunade, targets whoever the person paying her decides is doing a little too well for their liking.

Of course, they picked Naruto.

Naruto could always decline the invitation, but that would look like cowardice on their part. She'd probably release something completely false without discussing it first if they didn't go.

But if Naruto is caught off guard, and what she found was true, then his reaction would be forever recorded and broadcasted straight to national television. That's a wonderful thought – it's nice, though, it's feeding time for Michael Phelps.

Sasuke attempted to gather any sort of ink blot on their pristine record but could find absolutely none, which put Michael Phelps into overdrive. Not being able to find an issue means that they won't be prepared for facing whatever she asks them.

Naruto has to go in blind.

Which he probably won't mind, but hell if Sasuke won't.

 _Michael Phelps, go away,_ Sasuke pleads, _find another swimming pool._

* * *

"Hello, welcome to the Sunday portion of our Fundays. I'm Tsunade, and today I have here presidential candidate Mr. Naruto Uzumaki! Hello, Mr. Uzumaki."

"Oh, please, call me Naruto."

"Alright then! First name basis already?"

"I prefer making friends rather than adding acquaintances."

"How very sweet of you."

The conversation went smoothly. Tsunade joked along with Naruto through a series of conversational tangents. Sasuke found himself being drawn into the false sense of security.

"Well, there _is_ a specific reason I brought you in."

Can Sasuke's face get paler? If you looked at him at this moment, you would know.

"What's up?"

"Well, you've made many mentions of your wife over the course of your campaign, correct?"

"I have spoken on my spouse many occasions, yes."

"And you seem very devoted to her?"

"My spouse means the world to me."

"Well, we have some evidence here that you may not be as devoted to her as you'd like others to believe."

Sasuke's heart dropped.

He tried to tell himself over and over that Naruto would never cross him, would never do anything like that, but Michael Phelps made anything seem possible.

"What do you mean?"

"Well, let's just say that we've found you with someone else."

Naruto leaned back, " _Really?_ " A look of disbelief mixed intrigue plastered on his face.

"Yes, quite so."

"With who, may I ask?"

Naruto was too calm. Sasuke was freaking out and wanted nothing more than to collapse in his arms and also punch him in the face – whichever feeling won out when he got to it.

"You see, evidence shows that your campaign manager is very hands on with your campaign while you are very hands on with your campaign manager."

All that existed in Sasuke's mind was Michael Phelps. On one hand, Naruto could deny that he's married to Sasuke, (falsely) proving him to be an adulterer, resulting in him being shunned by more than the already opposing side. Adultery was not a good look on anyone.

On the other hand… Naruto would have to fess up to being married to Sasuke, a man, a _foreign_ man no less (he was a citizen but that matters to no one apparently), meaning he was gay. People don't tend to like gay people, especially a portion of the voting pool they're currently going for.

If he claimed he wasn't married to Sasuke, he would most likely have to drop out of the race. If he explained that they were married, they might not have a great shot at winning, but Sasuke would be heart-broken if he cost Naruto the election.

This was a matter that had to be thoroughly examined with a clear strategy –

Naruto burst out laughing.

Sasuke wished Naruto burst into flames instead.

"I'm sorry, I'm sorry, that's – that's the greatest wording I've ever heard." Naruto laughed loudly.

"Excuse me?" Tsunade asked.

"Oh my god, Sas, _Sas,"_ Naruto doubled over and struggled to breathe, " _Sas, tu l'as eu (Sas, did you get it)? Tu l'as eu, Sas?_ "

Everyone looked at him blankly as his laughter began to wind down.

Naruto straightened up, wiping his eyes, "It's alright, Sasuke gets everything," he looks at Tsunade questioningly, "what was the question again?"

"You're cheating on your wife with your campaign manager," Tsuande pulls up pictures of them, one at the dinner for the Greywood's and – much to Sasuke's dismay – another after the Q&A, "and here's the proof."

"Oh… I wasn't aware I could cheat on my spouse… with my spouse."

"What do you mean?" Tsunade asked.

"Dude," Naruto said calmly, "Sasuke is my husband."

Tsunade looked at him blankly.

"You – you're married?"

"Yes!" Naruto answered happily, "We established this earlier."

"I mean to your campaign manager."

"Yes, Sasuke Uzumaki, campaign manager of Naruto Uzumaki. We're the Uzumaki's!" Naruto beamed, "He's gorgeous, isn't he?"

"You said you had a wife."

"Nope! I said I had a _spouse_. You could take that as you pleased." Naruto leaned back, "The one descriptor I used repeatedly for my spouse was _very French._ Have you never heard that man? He even speaks _English_ in cursive. It's adorable."

And the rest was incredibly awkward as Tsunade tried to shrug off the very off assumption. Naruto made it clear that he didn't hold anything against her, thanked her for having him, asked for the pictures they got, and left.

Sasuke wanted to feel better, but he couldn't.

It was that damned Michael Phelps again.


	5. How Do We Know He's Not a Gay Communist?

**HOW DO WE KNOW HE'S NOT A GAY COMMUNIST?**

* * *

A press conference was to be held later that day.

The whole two weeks they were given to prepare was filled to the brim with Sasuke shoving Naruto's various forms of affection away in an attempt to write a speech and create responses to his hypothesized questions. Naruto pouted endlessly. Sasuke did not care.

Their marriage became a hot topic on social media as well as the news. Mr. Uzumaki² was, for some odd reason, a shock to everyone. Many claimed they saw it coming but most were upset at the discovery, whether due to Naruto being unavailable to women (he's bi, but that doesn't matter since he's also Sasuke's) or to the fact that he's a homosexual (again, bisexual, but he _is_ in a homosexual relationship). The current pool of voters in their favor was diminishing very quickly.

Sasuke had to come up with some way to take people's minds off the fact that Naruto Uzumaki was married to another man. It irked him that it was such a big deal, but what he believed constituted as big deal wasn't the same as what others constituted as a big deal, namely the voters.

There was this… intense fear that Naruto would lose everything because of Sasuke in some way, shape, or form. Sasuke didn't want to cost Naruto this victory, this dream of his he had at 2 o'clock in the bloody morning. Naruto was always passionate about everything, and it was Sasuke's duty to make sure he got to where he wanted to be.

So currently, Sasuke was trying to find a way to soften the aftermath of the blow the voters had received.

* * *

"What are your views on the drug problems in this country? Are you for the legalization of marijuana?"

"Honestly, the drug problem is a bigger deal than it needs to be since the government is stepping in so much," Naruto explained, "marijuana isn't going to hurt anyone. Alcohol tends to hurt more than a little weed does. The decision to make it illegal was not a step in the right direction – people are being incarcerated everyday for something completely ridiculous. This ruling on the subject hurts more people than it will ever help."

"What about vaccinations causing autism? What will you do to stop that?"

"…well, seeing as vaccines don't actually cause autism, nothing. Besides, I would prefer having a living, autistic child than a dead child killed by a preventable disease. Autism is not some horrible thing, and the fear around it is ill-informed."

Sasuke examined his nails as he listened to Naruto's answers. They're good enough – not the wording Sasuke wrote for him in the least sense, but he got the gist. Sasuke was pleased thus far with not only the predictability of the questions posed but with Naruto's serious answers to the questions as well.

"How can we know you'll be a good president if you're married to a man?"

Sasuke's heart dropped.

"I don't see how the gender of my spouse decides how well I'll do as president." Naruto replied.

"How do we know you won't try to change everyone to gay?"

"All I see here is you attempting to convince me to not be gay."

"Are you attacking me?"

"Are you attacking my spouse?"

Sasuke stepped up to Naruto.

"What are you doing?" Sasuke hissed quietly.

"This question is absolutely ridiculous." Naruto whispered back angrily.

"You're running for president, you're going to see some ridiculous things."

"I don't like them talking about our marriage like that."

"Excuse me, are you consulting your husband?" A reporter called out.

"Why, yes," Naruto turned back to the crowd, "as a matter of fact I am. He is my campaign manager as well as my spouse, so consulting with him is always a must."

"How do we know he's not trying to impose some foreign ideals on this country?"

"Why would he?"

"Because he's foreign."

"Sasuke has lived in America for a very long time, he's not some spy sent here to brainwash me and make me president or something."

"He's going to try to make us communist."

Naruto laughed, "I wasn't aware the French were communist, Sasuke."

"That's because they're not." Sasuke replied.

"See, we can't even understand what he's saying!"

"Just as some people cannot write nor read cursive, some cannot hear nor speak cursive." Naruto joked.

"I don't feel comfortable with the idea of another foreigner in the White House."

"I don't understand where this hate is stemming from," Naruto began, "because this country isn't going to get anywhere when we hold onto beliefs such as this.

"Sure, I can help enact changes in the laws and encourage an improvement of society, but I cannot change society myself. That is a group effort, which includes people that aren't originally from here. Hey, we're not originally from here, either. It's not beneficial to the wellbeing of society to continue to accuse people of crimes they haven't done due to their origins, color of their skin, nor accents and the like.

"Society may not be able to fix itself while I'm in office – heck, I'm fairly certain it won't – but I'd like to see to it that that ball gets rolling, and that there is a visible shift in how the people of this nation act towards one another.

"I'd like to see some of that change here and now, starting with you apologizing to my spouse for wrongly accusing him of something he'd never due based on the fact that he wasn't born in America and still has an accent."

The crowd grew quiet in the presence of Naruto's serious demeanor. The demand for an apology hung in the air unanswered for many long moments.

"I'm not apologizing."

Naruto looked the reporter straight in the eye.

"Then you're not helping to enact the change."

* * *

"Naruto, that was stupid."

"I'm not about to let them judge you or talk about you like that." Naruto grumbled.

"They're going to say what they're going to say – I told you they'd look at you as Mr. President with a foreigner at his side." Sasuke walked briskly to keep up with Naruto's larger stride.

"The fact that you saw this coming is overwhelmingly depressing – this country is absolutely fucked, and I'll only be able to do so much."

"But you _will_ be able to do something, Naruto, and alienating even more of the voter pool isn't going to help our cause."

"He wouldn't even fucking apologize."

"He doesn't have to, Naruto."

"You're a citizen and yet they still treat you like this. How are they going to treat non-citizens, huh?" Naruto turned towards him.

"You already know that."

"But maybe I don't want to."

"Naruto," Sasuke said softly, "this country is a broken and heavily fragmented one, it's true, but you have a _vision_ , and you have the determination to see to that vision."

Naruto smiled slightly.

"Chin up, Mr. President."

Naruto chuckled, "Aye, aye captain."


	6. Sasuke's Usain Bolt

**SASUKE'S USAIN BOLT**

* * *

"Okay, so when they ask about the drug problems, you're going to reply with what?"

"Depends on what they ask, Sas – it's a large and very generalized subject. We talking opioids, marijuana, hard core dugs, or prescriptions or something? Lots of drugs out there." Naruto shook his head. "Everything's fucked with how it's going."

"That's why you're where you are, Naruto; you're here to help fix that. What if they ask about global warming?"

"Oh my god, Sasuke, these are the largest most unspecific topics you could ever ask me on. It's a thing, man – we're gonna do stuff about it, but I'm gonna need more specifics to go on in order to better understand what you're asking of me."

"Stop being a smart-ass, Naruto. How about the gun problems –"

" _Sasuke,_ " Naruto turned to grasp him by his arms, "je suis bien (I'm okay)."

"Je ne te crois pas, tu n'es jamais bien (I don't believe you, you're never okay)."

"Arrête de t'inquiéter pour moi, Sasuke (stop worrying about me, Sasuke), Michael Phelps, my dude."

"I acknowledge my Michael Phelps and raise you Usain Bolt."

"It's not Usain Bolt, Sasuke."

"Want to bet?"

Naruto leaned back and crossed his arms.

"It's always beneficial to read the script, Naruto; that way, you don't look like an idiot on stage." Sasuke said slowly.

"I don't need a script – I'll wing it."

Sasuke got up close to Naruto to look him dead in the face.

"Usain Bolt."

"No Usain Bolt, Michael Phelps."

"Michael Phelps is only in my swimming pool because your Usain Bolt is flaunting his stuff."

"In the words of someone very wise and ahead of their time, 'Naruto, tu es un crétin' (Naruto, you're a moron)."

Naruto turned away from Sasuke, making his way to the stage.

"Don't use my words against me Uzumaki." Sasuke called after him.

"Hey, there are two of us now, remember?" Naruto turned to throw a wink over his shoulder.

Sasuke sighed. All he could do now was sit and watch as Naruto went through his first big debate. Hopefully this was in the bag for them.

* * *

Sasuke stepped out of the audience for a moment. As soon as he left the main room someone all but pounced on him.

"Mr. Uzumaki, may I have a moment of your time?" The young reporter asked.

"You already have." Sasuke tried to get away.

The reporter blocked his path, "I just have a few questions for you, sir."

"Should the questions not be directed to my husband? You know, the one who would become president?"

"They're questions about you."

Sasuke stared at them, blinking slowly.

"Come again?"

"They're questions about you. The public knows a lot of things about the other candidates' spouses but everyone knows next to nothing about you."

"What makes you think I want people to know about me? Maybe people don't know anything because I want it that way." Sasuke was visibly annoyed by now.

"You should've known that you'd become public interest once your husband ran for president, no?"

"What?"

"I wanted to ask you where you're from."

"I'm from France."

"Why did you leave France, and what makes us believe you won't go back?"

"I came here because my husband is very good at convincing me to take chances."

"Would you go back?"

"Why are you so interested in that? I am a citizen, if that's what you're worried about. I don't understand everyone's obsession with my French background." Sasuke dismissed.

"So, you'll do anything your husband asks you to do?"

"Within reason."

"He once said that he woke up and decided to run for president on a whim."

"…that's within reason, believe it or not." Sasuke pursed his lips at the thought.

"My next set of questions has to do with your maiden name."

Sasuke stiffened.

"Is your maiden name Uchiha?"

"That's none of your business." Sasuke snapped.

"It's just a question, and it's public knowledge."

"If it's public knowledge, then why are you asking me?"

"Everything is better coming from the mouth of the person."

"I don't appreciate you prying into my life in such a way."

"You should've thought of that when you let your husband run."

Sasuke glared at them.

"What do you want to hear from me? That my parents were murdered there when I was 8? That my brother was killed when I was 17? That I had to hand over the company to some nit wits because of how young I was when I acquired it? That every day I torture myself thinking about what I could have done differently, how desperately I wanted to leave but could never find it in me? Or that I would do anything for my husband for pulling me out of a place I was determined to not let be my tomb."

The reporter fell silent.

"That's why you never hear about the Uchiha's anymore," Sasuke said quietly, "because there aren't Uchiha's anymore. I'm not one either; I'm an Uzumaki now. There are exactly 2 of us. I don't appreciate you sticking your nose where it doesn't belong. I'm not about to abandon my only family to go to where the rest of them died."

* * *

"Oh my god, Sas…" Naruto trailed off.

"What is it?" Sasuke moved to look at the screen in Naruto's lap.

"I'm getting a tiny bit of Michael Phelps from your Usain Bolt."

"I didn't do any Usain Bolt-ing, what the hell are you talking about."

"The tabloids think you're mean."

Sasuke froze.

"You went off on a small reporter."

Sasuke breathed slowly.

"They weren't giving me much space to go off elsewhere."

"What happened?" Naruto looked at Sasuke.

"I – I didn't think people would ask _me_ questions, Naruto."

"Well, they're bound to at some point."

Sasuke panicked.

"They wouldn't leave me alone – I just kept trying to get away and – and – and they wouldn't let me and I didn't know what to do –"

"Sasuke."

"- and you're so good with this stuff and god I'm just _awful_ at this stuff and I'm just awful –"

"Sasuke."

Sasuke started tearing up, " – and I don't understand why you're still with me when I fuck up this badly and I'm on the verge of costing you this election and I just can't even –"

"Sasuke."

" – I'm so sorry I cost us everything and _I'm so sorry you're with me –"_

"Sasuke!" Naruto grabbed his crying mess of a husband, "Tout vas bien, Sasuke (Everything's okay, Sasuke)."

"T'es faux, tout _ne_ va _pas_ bien (You're wrong, everything's _not_ okay)!" Sasuke sobbed out.

" _Sasuke,"_ Naruto breathed out, "I'm not mad at you."

" _I'm mad at me!"_

"My concern is not with the campaign. We did this because of a stupid dream I had," Naruto stroked Sasuke's hair, "and, to be honest, the knowledge that this campaign won't end in unlimited flamingo rides kind of puts a damper on things."

" _I'm so sorry."_

"Sasuke. I'm not mad. I'm a little disappointed that people have taken you out of context," Naruto leaned down to Sasuke's ear, "you're a wonderful man, Sasuke, you really are."

" _I'm sorry."_

"Sasuke, you did nothing wrong, honey. You're fine, you're okay, we're okay."

" _Je suis désolé (I'm sorry)."_

"Je t'aime, mon amour (I love you, my love)."

" _Je me déteste (I hate myself)."_

"Je t'aime beaucoup, mon chéri (I love you very much, my dear)."

Sasuke continued to sob as Naruto pulled him close as he softly pet his hair. The hysterical sobbing gave way to crying and then to sniffling defeat.

"Sasuke. You're really stressed out right now, I know that." Sasuke sniffled, "So, I'm gonna be here and help you get your Michael Phelps reigned in, and then we can think about where this campaign is going."

Sasuke paused.

"Because we can end it if it affects you this badly."

* * *

 **A/n:** Edited slightly for French


	7. You Can't Have a Naruto Wo His Sasuke

**YOU CAN'T HAVE A NARUTO WITHOUT HIS SASUKE**

* * *

"If we end the campaign… that'll be all of my worst fears realized. You understand that, right?"

"Of course, I do, Sasuke," Naruto started, "but I'm worried about the toll this is taking on you."

"It will be much better when we win."

"If."

"If? _If?_ Are you not Naruto Uzumaki?"

"I am Naruto Uzumaki, concerned husband of an anxious mess that's too willing to put his well-being on the line for me."

"Michael Phelps."

"Yeah, Michael Phelps is a bitch, isn't he?"

"You've never met him before."

"Yes, that is true, but we have _felt_ him." Naruto winked.

"That's – that's just disturbing."

"If we're continuing this campaign, you're going to need to let me know."

"I thought I did?"

"We need a battle plan. How much longer we got?"

Sasuke looked at his tablet.

"We've got… 3 months 'til final election day," Sasuke glared at Naruto, "and you almost threw it away because of a panic attack."

"It was a pretty intense one, Sasuke. I was scared."

Sasuke rolled his eyes.

"I'm a Michael Phelps king and you know it."

"Yeah, well, as your Usain Bolt king, I was slightly concerned."

"…we've got a press conference in approximately 57 minutes."

"That would've been nice to know approximately 63.02 minutes ago."

"56 minutes."

"Fuck off, Sas."

* * *

"Your husband seems quite hostile."

"Sasuke's not hostile. Sure, he can glare a storm, but he wouldn't hurt anyone."

"He attacked that reporter."

"That reporter cornered him – he was distressed."

Sasuke fiddled with his suit buttons as he tried to tune out the questions. Naruto was asked to appear on a popular talk show. Sasuke had hoped that they wouldn't pry into his prior actions, but of course they did. Michael Phelps just _had_ to be right, didn't he?

"His response was inappropriate."

"In what way? He was provoked repeatedly despite numerous attempts to disengage."

"What he said wasn't okay."

"But what he said is the truth," Naruto continued, "which is what was asked of him. He doesn't generally talk about it, so it takes a lot of pestering to get him to say anything. I'm not comfortable knowing that someone made him feel the need to share that information."

Sasuke looked down at the floor in shame. Of course, he shouldn't have actually recounted the events of his past, but he was so stressed out by the campaign that the reporter broke him down.

"Why are you with him, then, if he's got such a distressing history making him prone to these kinds of outbursts?"

Sasuke's eyes teared up. Naruto shouldn't be with him, he knew that – he didn't want it broadcasted everywhere, though.

"I've never met a person more amazing, outstanding, and astonishing as my spouse, my heart, my soul mate, Sasuke."

Sasuke looked up.

"Let me tell you a bit about why Sasuke is simply amazing beyond words," Naruto shifted in his chair to get comfortable, "we met online in some weird new chatroom. The chatroom randomly pairs you with someone. I, 012607, got paired with Sasuke, 012606.

"Sasuke spoke French. I did not. He did, however, know English, so communication was possible. I told Sasuke I'd teach myself French in a short amount of time, but I never did," Naruto laughed softly at the memory, "so Sasuke took it upon himself to teach me, since I was very heavily disheartened by my failure.

"After three months of talking to this wonderful man, I decided to visit him in France… let's just say my arrival did not go over well; it was a train wreck. Sasuke took one look at my pitiful face and decided he was hooked for life.

"When his brother died, Sasuke refused to speak for some time, like, 2 days I think, but he came back because I have this amazing ability of soothing away Sasuke's worries. I asked him to leave France, where he had lived his whole life, and take a stupid chance and move with me here, in America, a country he had never previously been too."

Tears stung the corners of Sasuke's eyes.

"He _trusted me_ enough to do that. Every single crazy idea I have ever come up with he just rolled with – he let me explore what I was temporarily interested in while keeping me out of the hospital. Sasuke gives me room to experiment but watches closely to keep me safe.

"Sasuke has proven time and time again that he can and will do anything for me. He's willing to leave his mental well-being behind for this campaign, something that I wanted based on a dream I had. I told him this so early in the morning and he never questioned my sincerity and he put his all into it.

"Sasuke's a very determined man. He's a very get-it-done man. He's so much bigger a person than I. Sure, if you take him out of context, it won't look pretty, but this is true for many, many people, if not all."

Sasuke watched his other half of his whole through his tear-filled eyes.

"I love Sasuke more than love itself, and you'll never have a Naruto without his Sasuke."


	8. Tick Tock - A Bated Breath

**TICK TOCK – A BATED BREATH**

 **A/n:** Quick note here, my stories tend to focus on the character interactions than anything else, so this part kind of clumps the rest together. I couldn't think of anything to add - in fact, the last chapter was an addition to the story.

* * *

The timer counts down. Press conferences, interviews, television and school appearances, dinners, campaign, campaign, campaign. Their lives were reduced down to the campaign. Everything was put on hold – their long cuddle sessions, their "fancy" lunches (ranging from steak house to Lunchables in their pajamas), their sex life had gone out the window early on into the campaign (though it could serve to soothe some frazzled nerves), and everything they spoke was campaign related.

They never lost sight of each other, though – Naruto was there because Sasuke worked hard to get Naruto what he said he wanted. The times got tough, but they remained connected and wholly devoted to one another. They lived in comfortable co-existance.

The final day came too soon. They did too little. Sasuke was upset that he couldn't fit in everything he wanted to, blaming the one late dinner on that quarter he lost in a storm drain seven and a half years ago (it's a long, drawn out thought process), and basically coming apart at the seams with an overabundance of apprehension.

As they watched the polls, Naruto wrapped his arms around Sasuke from behind. He nuzzled his nose into Sasuke's hair and breathed him in. Scents had always calmed them, and Naruto, although seemingly calm and collected on the outside, was freaking out. He could do without being president, it was a spur of the moment, but Sasuke…

Sasuke had given up a lot for this campaign, more so than Naruto himself, and he had done it for him. Sasuke had done everything for him, from bailing him out when he got caught by border security, to moving to America with him, to marrying him, and to giving him a reason to… exist.

Naruto had been lonely when he reached out on the internet for whatever stranger that would interact. Sasuke happened to be the sorry sop that got randomly assigned to him all those years ago.

And good god was Naruto grateful that it was Sasuke.

He could never imagine a life without Sasuke. His biggest fear of relationships, marriage and love, was the thought of someone domesticating him. Sasuke saw his strange ideas and took them in stride. He gave it his all, like he did with this election. The loss would be Naruto's fault, but he just knew that Sasuke would bear the weight on his own shoulders.

A light tap on his cheek brought him out of his thoughts.

"Hey, Michael Phelps, remember what we said?" Sasuke whispered.

"What's that?" Naruto whispered back.

The television announced the winner of the presidency, and suddenly time froze.

Sasuke smiled.

"What's the worst that could happen?"


	9. What's the Worst That Could Happen? x2

**EPILOGUE – WHAT'S THE WORST THAT COULD HAPPEN?**

* * *

"Confidence makes the person.

"Willingness to take a chance, to take risks to do what is best, defines character.

"Spontaneity, the ability to adapt to any situation faced, dictates endurance.

"Not every person has mastered all of these traits. I have, making me an invaluable asset to the position I am placed in. I've gone straight to the tip top.

"My name is Naruto Uzumaki, your newly elected president of the United States, eagerly awaiting every new day I get to serve you. Now I ask of you, if you haven't been convinced through my election that I'm a great guy for president and are questioning whether your vote for me was in vain, to ask yourself one simple question:

"What's the worst that could happen?"

* * *

 **A/n:** aaaaand that's it! Thank you for reading I love you all 3


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